First, kudos to you for seeking to support your daughter and her emotions post-divorce. We as adults forget that teens are going through intense hormonal changes, and those hormones start raging about two years before any outward physical changes can be seen. Teenage life is hard these days, so we want to offer all of the support that we can. It's probably difficult for your daughter to understand her parents' need for adult companionship when her parents/family fulfill so ma
I’m a childless stepmom. It’s not difficult to say and doesn’t give me pause. It’s a way of life that I chose, and continue to choose. That said, it’s always been difficult to explain my desire to remain childless. Having gone to both a Christian academy through my high school years and a Christian college for a year, discussing marriage and children was a necessity to a Christian existence. In their eyes, the only reason you would remain unmarried or childless occurred only
My blogging began on a family vacation back in 2008. I started with notes on a legal pad as we sat in a traffic making our way back from Disney World in Florida. I was a little tired of one kid wanting the air conditioner turned down while another wanted the radio turned up. Well, six years later, I'm still making notes on different topics, whether it be talking about my stepson's no-pants vacation or my decision not to have biological children. But I'm so pleased to report t
The following Robert Frost poem is one of my favorites. It has always spoken to me but became especially poignant to me after I married. It actually reminds me of my stepmom journey. To all of my fellow stepmoms, I dedicate this poem to you. The road that you have chosen has made all of the difference to your family. The Road Not Taken BY ROBERT FROST Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one a
Whatever you call yourself...adoptive, foster, blended, step or bio parent....you created a family. And the title makes your family no less genuine. For those who have trouble with the idea that anything other than a nuclear family is blessed....here's a reminder. Joseph didn't share DNA with Jesus. But it didn't make him any less a father. If God saw Joseph worthy to raise His son, it assures me that He has a special place in his heart for people who take on the task of ra
In his lifetime, Vincent Van Gogh sold only one painting. But since that time, his fame has reached epic proportions. Today, he is widely regarded as one of history’s greatest painters and an important contributor to the foundations of modern art. People visit museums throughout the world specifically to see his work. He is a world-renowned master known for his artistic genius. Could he have foreseen his legacy? Could he have known the impact he would have on the world? Often
More than 25 years ago John and Joann split. It was not amicable. The day the divorce was finalized, Joann left the courthouse, promptly secured a marriage license and married her boyfriend. Given that the divorce had been long and drawn out, it was not surprising to John that Joann remarried so quickly. He too was involved in a serious relationship with Melissa. John’s opposition, however, came when Joann told their daughter to call her new stepfather, “Dad.” Assuredly, this
If your stepchild is asking to bring a friend with her on a visit to your home, try to determine why. Does she feel uncomfortable? Is she homesick? Are there difficulties between you and your stepdaughter?
Focusing on these issues first will allow you to make a conscientious decision about whether your stepdaughter genuinely wants to visit and bring along a friend for fun, or if there are underlying issues for her friend request.
If you determine that she merely wants to
Millions of stepmothers exist the world over. While it is difficult to quantify just how many stepmothers exist, the Pew Research Center estimates there are over 14 million in the U.S. alone. Are you one of the more than 14 million wicked stepmothers? After all, it seems that the connotations surrounding the word stepmother are mostly negative. But was the term founded with a derogatory meaning? Where did the term originate? It appears that the terms associated with both st
The short answer is yes! It does get easier! Research indicates that it takes 4-7 years for a stepfamily to gel. Of course, each family is different and these norms could take longer. But all in all, once the family is established, so are the parameters of acceptable behavior. When my mother married my stepfather Jerry, I acted out for about six months. Yes, I was one of those kids too! And I'm happy to report that I consider the stepfamily I came from to be quite successful