I've been a pig in the mud lately.
Y'all, I don't usually write this "off the cuff." But I have been feeling the anger lately. Maybe more rage actually. Stuff is happening. Outside my home. Inside my home. And it makes me feel unsettled. Unfettered. Just getting by.
I sometimes see these feelings manifested in my language. And my attitude. Sometimes it just feels better to load myself up with yucky foods (and I mean that in the delicious and yet most unhealthy way) on some days. (Today, doughnuts.) But there are the days when it's just a low murmur....the way I feel when I've had too much caffeine. That jittery need-to-calm myself but don't know how kind of way.
I think and I think. Head straight to the problem-solving. I want to lash out on Facebook and Twitter and any other social media platforms that will have me. Yet, that feeling remains.
Do you wallow in it? I'm not much of a "wallower." I'm more of a doer. What can I do to fix it? Not sure that is always the best answer however. I think there's something to be said for experiencing that angst, the pain that we are feeling in the moment. I think our feelings can be powerful indicators. Like the canary in the coal mine. It's an alert. Tells us that we are doing something that is getting us off balance. But when we are tired of feeling, it's time to move to the doing. Not just for me. For all of us.
What do I do about it? How do I fight those feelings?
1) I need to go to God.
Confession: I have been derelict in doing my devotions lately. Our schedule has been rearranged this summer so it has been difficult to get myself established in any kind of routine. The dependability of knowing that I have a quiet time to read and pray ensure a peace in me that doesn't occur if I'm not committed to spending that time alone with God. Communal worship is part of my life but for me nothing can substitute for the time that I spend engaging with God and letting Him speak to me through His word and through my heart. I need to rectify this. Immediately.
2) I need to do things that I enjoy AND are good for me.
I am a news junkie. I wake up, grab my phone and read every news story possible before I actually have to pull myself out of the bed to start my day. I peruse the news outlets throughout the day. I read everything I can get my hands on related to said news of the day. What does that make me? A well-informed mess.
This morning, there was no time for that. My son-in-law was dropping off my granddaughter early. The plan was to play and then head to the library for a Baby and Me class. People, let me tell you, that baby can save me from a world of ills. She's a 16 month old busy bee. Walking and jabbering constantly. What a gift! That is something that I enjoy that is good for me. The craziness of chasing after that tiny human puts things in perspective. Does that make sense? I'm not overthinking and overanalyzing. I'm not concerned about what I cannot control because it's apparent I cannot even control what is right in front of me....much less all of the injustices of the world.
Okay, what's my point? When you feel overwhelmed by life, recognize it. Then, do something about it. Yes, allow yourself to be the pig in the mud for a hot minute. But not long. Allow yourself an outlet, but not just something you enjoy. Something that is good for you. Take the time to find something restorative. I'm not going to stop reading the news on an hourly basis. However, I need to be cognizant of when it is causing me grief. I need to realize when I am philosophizing, researching or probing to my detriment. That's the time to stop and take care of myself.
How do you handle the stressors in your life? What makes you feel better?