One word can make a big difference
Let's talk about conjunctions....
I believe we can set ourselves up for failure by believing in it. When you say, "My stepfamily will never bond" or "I'll never get along with my stepchildren" you are essentially ensuring that those things will come to pass. Look past where you are now to where you want to be. That's where the beloved conjunction makes its introduction.
"I am finding it difficult to get along with my stepchildren BUT I know that this is only temporary."
"My stepfamily is having difficulty bonding BUT we will work through this together."
"My stepchildren's mother doesn't speak to me NEVERTHELESS there is hope that she will recognize how much I care for her children."
See what a difference a conjunction makes!
My point is that you need to set yourself up for success instead of failure. Believe that it will come to pass. Let your family hear you speak in the positive. Help them buy into the plan you have for a successful stepfamily.