Should my husband and I allow my stepdaughter to bring a friend when she visits? We only see her on the weekends.

March 31, 2013

If your stepchild is asking to bring a friend with her on a visit to your home, try to determine why. Does she feel uncomfortable? Is she homesick? Are there difficulties between you and your stepdaughter?

Focusing on these issues first will allow you to make a conscientious decision about whether your stepdaughter genuinely wants to visit and bring along a friend for fun, or if there are underlying issues for her friend request.

If you determine that she merely wants to include her friend in her family fun, I say kudos! You have created an environment where she feels safe and encouraged to explore her friendships. You and your husband can now use this time as a chance to integrate yourself into another facet of your stepdaughter's life! But be clear that you would like to have individual time with her as well. Perhaps this assurance will allow your stepdaughter to see that you would like to bond with her as a family.

 

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