No matter where you are in your stepmom journey, you likely still have encounters that cause you annoyance, anger or resentment. Don’t despair. You aren’t alone! But simply having stepmom triggers does not mean that your family will suffer. Identifying your triggers and learning how best to respond can save you and your family some angst in the future. 1. “You’re Not My Mom!” Nearly every stepparent has their own war wounds suffered from hearing this phrase, some repeatedly.